god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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