i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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