are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
false alarm. still invincible.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
