Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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