That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
