I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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