i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
