remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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