Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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