Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
