Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
