it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
