Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
