I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
