Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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