Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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