Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
