Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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