ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
