My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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