Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
