dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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