so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
