You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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