I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
