If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
