these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
