I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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