so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize