I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
After last night, I could never be a politician.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
