Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
