Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize