You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
