Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
