Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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