We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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