I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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