we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize