Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
