So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
