Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
