Just cropdusted the office
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
