I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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