You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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