His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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