hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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