Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
