The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
