well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
