have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
