Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
