I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.