when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it