So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.