just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away