i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.