Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
