remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sorry about my life...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
