Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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