Don't make out with my wife yet
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
