Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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