he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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