C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
kristin has been a bad kristin
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
