please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
