Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize