What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
