I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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